a few weeks ago i was sitting in my car reading, waiting for a meeting to start. i was contemplating whether to be a missionary when i started reading psalm 84. it pretty much sealed the deal. last week i was sitting in my car reading again before going to class (i read in the car a lot). i was feeling overwhelmed about what lies ahead before moving to benin when i read psalm 84 again. it hit the spot. i think i need to memorize this one. here are some parts...
"my soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God." there are times when i'm so hungry for direction from God, i can actually feel it. like my soul could faint. it feels good to know the psalmist has been there too. i'm not alone when my heart cries out to God.
"even as the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself..." even though i'm about to be uprooted, i can trust that God will create a home for me.
"blessed are those whose strength is in You, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage." ding ding ding! this is what i call confirmation. i think God loves our hearts, and mine is a pilgrim heart.
"blessed is the man who trusts in you." so, i make up my mind in that moment to trust. and i keep making up my mind to trust over and over again. it doesn't always come naturally, but it does come...
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
fra angelico
when i was in spain my sophomore year of college, my mom and i bought identical posters at el museo prado in madrid. she has always loved religious art and was a big fra angelico fan. i too was struck by fra angelico's annunciation as i stood before it. we both have his work framed and hanging on our walls... one of many things we share.
fra angelico was a painter and a friar. as a friar, he didn't profit personally from his masterpieces. he did what he did and used his talents for the glory of God alone. his paintings are one more way he was able to share a message, and continues to share that message today even after his death.
so i was looking at my poster of the virgin of the annunciation this morning, but somehow saw it differently. in the painting, on the left one sees in the background adam and eve leaving the garden of eden... the fall of man. in the foreground, one see the angel gabriel in the center speaking to mary on the right. one also sees the Holy Spirit descending on mary as a dove. in the past, i've always thought of this as two stories... the fall of man and the redemption of man. today, however, i see them as significantly integrated. it's not that we should choose to be less like adam and eve and more like mary. mary was human too. instead we should choose to allow God to use us in spite of (perhaps because of) our own humanness. adam and eve in the background are not a reminder of what not to be, they are a reminder of who we are. and yet God chooses to use us, knowing better than anyone who we really are. better than we know ourselves.
for me, this serves as a reminder that despite what i think of myself and the doubts that go along with that, God seems to think He can use me. it feels counter intuitive. it's a little scary. it's a call to trust God a lot more than i trust myself.
fra angelico was a painter and a friar. as a friar, he didn't profit personally from his masterpieces. he did what he did and used his talents for the glory of God alone. his paintings are one more way he was able to share a message, and continues to share that message today even after his death.
so i was looking at my poster of the virgin of the annunciation this morning, but somehow saw it differently. in the painting, on the left one sees in the background adam and eve leaving the garden of eden... the fall of man. in the foreground, one see the angel gabriel in the center speaking to mary on the right. one also sees the Holy Spirit descending on mary as a dove. in the past, i've always thought of this as two stories... the fall of man and the redemption of man. today, however, i see them as significantly integrated. it's not that we should choose to be less like adam and eve and more like mary. mary was human too. instead we should choose to allow God to use us in spite of (perhaps because of) our own humanness. adam and eve in the background are not a reminder of what not to be, they are a reminder of who we are. and yet God chooses to use us, knowing better than anyone who we really are. better than we know ourselves.
for me, this serves as a reminder that despite what i think of myself and the doubts that go along with that, God seems to think He can use me. it feels counter intuitive. it's a little scary. it's a call to trust God a lot more than i trust myself.
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